BABY Christian Dudley’s life may have been short but he has left a legacy that is bringing joy to thousands of grieving families worldwide.
Parents Carly and Sam Dudley, of Banksia Grove, have created Christian’s Seashore where they write the names of deceased children in the sand, usually at sunset, to honour their lives.
Photographs of each name are loaded on to the couple’s internet site with words of remembrance from families as far away as the United States, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Africa and India.
Since starting the free “ministry” about five months ago, the couple has written and photographed more than 2500 names in the sand at such beaches as Mullaloo Point, Burns Beach and Iluka.
Carly said the idea had come to her in a vivid dream last August, about 18 months after the heartbreaking stillbirth of Christian on Australia Day 2007.
“In this dream, I was walking along a beach and I saw three little kids playing. When I got close to them, they ran off,” she said. “They had written their names in the sand – Christian, and Noah and Bella, who left this Earth a short time before him.”
Carly said the dream had inspired her to go to Burns Beach at sunset that night to write the three names in the sand and take photographs. Standing in the water there, she decided to start a children’s memorial page so families could honour lost children, including miscarriages, which she signified with a heart in the sand.
Carly said by the time she showed Sam the site as a Father’s Day surprise, the initial three names had grown to about 70 in response to families’ requests – and Christian’s legacy was born.
“We had no idea this dream would become something so amazing. We expected three responses a week – we get 30 to 40 a day,” she said.
Sam said the service gave them comfort because it meant Christian lived on in a massive way, even though he was with them for only a short time.
They hoped ultimately to establish a foundation so volunteers in other countries could share the workload, which was about 10 hours each weekday, including computer work and beach visits.
Carly said this would not be possible without her parents Anne and Red Gibson, who babysat Christian’s sisters, Scarlett (3) and River (1).
She said response to the site, particularly from families with few photographs or mementos of a lost child, was touching.
“Some people have sent gifts and thank- you cards and I understand them wanting to thank us because in some cases, they have nothing, not even photographs to remember their children,” she said.
“Some US states do not recognise stillborn babies as people and parents do not receive a birth certificate, even though those babies were here.”
The idea has spawned another. Carly and friend Sarah Pietrzak have set up the Whispered Support Project, to support parents who have lost a baby in the womb.
They are distributing letters to hospitals, doctors’ surgeries and other outlets, which will direct women to an internet site.
The young mother said she regretted not having more mementos of Christian, particularly photographs of her and Sam holding him and a video.
This knowledge, along with that from other bereaved parents who had voiced similar regrets, would help others.
“We cannot stop babies dying but we can stop couples having regrets because they cannot go back and take photographs,” she said.
Visit www.namesinthesand.net and www.whisperedsupport.blogspot.com